The Art of Executing Life’s Forward Flips with Fortitude

Often, when things don’t go the way we expect or plan we become bewildered. We need not be bewildered any longer, however, because we can understand what to call each of the changes that life brings us several times each day. A change like this is called a “flip.” The question we need to ask is whether it is a flip forward or a flip backward, but it is definitely a flip. We experience daily flips in all of our life domains – education, health, finances, recreation, environment, spirituality, personal development, and family/friends. What we must orchestrate is our response to these flips.

It is helpful to recognize and remember that all of our successes have the element of a flip – e.g., a graduation (a flip in the education domain), a car purchase (in the finance domain), a new job (in finance domain again), the birth of a child (in the family and friends domain), a baptism (in the spirituality domain), moving to a new location (in the environment domain), a cruise (in the recreation domain), etc. Furthermore, our failures have the same element of a flip. Some of these include death (in the family and friends domain), a car accident (in the environment domain), the loss of a game (in the recreation domain), negative medical news (in the health domain), and a failing grade (in the education domain). These flips are going to happen and we must be prepared for them.

Fortitude is required to deter our human tendency to waver. Wavering allows us to wonder, wasting valuable time that we do not have. Wavering very easily consumes minutes that turn into hours, hours that turn into days, days that turn into weeks, weeks that turn into months, months that turn into years, and years that turn into decades.

Since flips do not happen in a vacuum and involve us and other stakeholders, sponsorship is important for us when we are handling them. Our associations often promote or prevent the necessary flips of our lives. We often give people access to us who are not deserving of the opportunity and, sometimes, we shun people who we really need. Fellowship in our lives is crucial. It enables us to have courageous conversations with others who can afford for us to do well.

Selflessness is a major ingredient of forward flips because achieving what we want is often stymied when it is only good for us and not others. If we consider whether the benefits of our goals are mutual to self and others, we are beginning at the right point.

We can’t control flips. What we can control is our response to a flip. Our response determines whether it is a forward or potentially backward flip. We must have the conviction that we can master the art of life’s forward flip with fortitude. Mastering the art of life’s forward flip with fortitude requires us to understand that all flips target our future, fortune, forgiveness, and/or faith. We must be prepared to turn all of life’s changes, even those that appear to be backward flips upon their occurrence, into forward flips. We must possess the conviction that everything happens for the good of ourselves and others and that no matter how dim the light of hope may be, we will find and illuminate it to serve as our beacon as we venture forward.

As we journey on, we must possess the conviction that every person, place, or thing that touches our lives deserves the opportunity. Whether we embrace them or not, these will flip us forward or backward. It is better, in general, to control the gate than the exit. Whatever the circumstance, we must possess the tenacity to always demonstrate the art of life’s forward flip with fortitude.

Dr. Nathaniel J. Williams – www.drnatwilliams.com

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Self Reconciliation – Can’t live without it – but it can destroy everything that really matters if we aren’t mindful

Self-reconciliation means to resolve and understand things through our own personal lens. We do it in our daily transactions without even realizing it is occurring. It impacts how we talk, what we talk about, what we eat, where we will go and not go, and what we believe or choose to disbelieve. In a useful way, self-reconciliation gives us an anchor, a sense of security, and serves as a guide post amidst an ever changing world. Self-reconciliation is an octopus like behavior. It is not a one handed bandit. We tend to self-reconcile in one or more of the eight domains of life – education, health, finances, recreation, environment, spirituality, personal development, and family/friends. In reality, self-reconciliation, using ourselves as a barometer of what is good and bad, helps us to navigate toward and away from people, places, and things.

Self-reconciliation is our default state of existence which we must earnestly work against, since it is often a recipe for disaster. This default state of existence has a tendency to lead us to a narrow frame of reference, which leaves us with a closed view of life’s true potential. Often if it is not something we have experienced, or know about, we consider it out of the realm of possibility and comfortability. Thus, limiting what we allow ourselves, and others, to experience and tolerate. Self-reconciliation can be a benefit if our next inclination or thought is to still be inclusive of people, places, and things that may be naturally foreign to us.

Reluctantly, we must recognize that self-reconciliation is the universal common thread to all that is wrong in ourselves, and our society. Sadly, all crimes are committed with the disposition that I am more important than others, and doing things at others expense is OK. A person is only reconciling against themselves and not others. Examples of crimes are aiding & abetting, assault/battery, drug usage/possession/manufacturing/distribution, burglary /theft, arson, bribery, child abandonment/abuse, child pornography, conspiracy, fraud, cyber bullying, domestic violence, DUI/DWI, embezzlement, extortion, forgery, harassment, hate crimes, indecent exposure, identity theft, kidnapping, money laundering, murder, perjury, prostitution, rape, robbery, sexual assault, shoplifting, stalking, and vandalism.

Racism, sexism, discrimination and the like are all powered by self-reconciliation. Self-reconciliation is the fuel of jealousy and truly makes us envious of others. However, it really makes us jealous and envious of ourselves, because unbeknownst to ourselves, we have accepted that we cannot have what we perceive others have. We have given up, even though we are extending an enormous amount of energy – all be it negative.  We are actually fighting a losing and destructive fight – against ourselves. Self-reconciliation epitomizes the saying “you are the only person standing in your way” – as your world view either gets you to appreciate the diversity of your lived experience or allows you to become disenchanted and disheartened by it.

Self-reconciliation is another way of defining selfishness and discrimination.   We must endeavor to live a life that acknowledges through our words, actions, and deeds that we understand we are the center of our own existence – but not the center of all existence. Furthermore, we are given the opportunity to live another day to broaden, not sharpen, our horizons. We must seek to learn about the much we do not know and work to see the world through a brighter and hopeful lens, all the while accepting the little we actually do know.

Dr. Nathaniel J. Williams – www.drnatwilliams.com – January 11, 2015

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5 Ways to Make 2015 (and beyond) Like Never Before

5 Ways to Make 2015 (and beyond) Like Never Before 

We all go into a New Year with high expectations and resolutions that often wither away to nothing before the month of January ends.  In an effort to make 2015, and beyond, like no other year, we must be on a mission, see the opportunity, live life like you are in ministry, remember you have capacity, and recognize that sponsors are required and that we can’t do it alone. 

REFRAME YOUR VISION – Be on a mission and stop asking permission of yourself and others per each mission you need to take.  When you are truly on a mission you are following a mandate which is clear and does not require authorizations and check-ins.  A true mission is often aligned with your passion which generally provides you with a wisdom that is instinctual and natural to you.

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET – See the opportunity in what you do rather than just the obligation.  Things are placed in your life to help you go to the next level.  See all situations – whether perceived to be positive or negative – as an occasion for betterment of yourself and others.

MODIFY YOUR ATTITUDE – Live your life like it is your ministry and thwart every tendency to be jealous of what you had and what others may have.  Use the limited time we have to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.  Leave a positive mark on the people, places, and things that touch your life.

REVISE YOUR DEMEANOR – Believe that you have the capacity even when your courage begins to lessen.  Be encouraged to maintain the courage to believe that you have all that you need to get to where you belong and are destined to be.

TRANSFORM YOUR VIEW OF EMPOWERMENT – Make sure things are happening because of you and not in spite of you.  Make sure you are the true agent of change.  Know the difference between luck and a well thought out, planned, and implemented strategy. Understand that sponsorship is required for all movements in life whether they are upward or downward.   Monitor all associations to make sure they up upbuilding.  We all need to stand on the shoulders of others.  Life has two moments of solitude – birth and death.  All other moments are best experienced with others who can afford to aid us in our quest to be our best.  We are on our own – but we are not alone.

Let’s endeavor to make 2015, and beyond, like no other by remembering that we are on our own – but not alone.

Wishing you the very best,

Dr. Nathaniel J. Williams

www.drnatwilliams.com

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Life’s Focus Must Be On The Opportunties Not Solely The Obligations

The larger issue is how we see the life we have and lead – not just the actions we take.  The actions we take are a byproduct of the life we are leading.

Does a person have a world view that solely focuses on obligations and tasks? Or a world view that focuses on opportunity and excellence?  Often because of challenging life event(s) we tend to look at life as being about obligations and tasks. I contend that our lives would be richer if we recognize the opportunities that it presents in all eight domains – education, recreation, spirituality, environment, family/friends, finances, personal development, and health.  Once we recognize the opportunities, then we should consider the obligations and tasks that are necessary to realize those opportunities.  Because we are now focused on the positive opportunities that life presents we are more likely to be doing so with excellence.  Our appreciation for life’s opportunities must be foremost and paramount.

We are often living a life that we are not enthused about and the obligations and tasks take precedence in our thinking and acting.  We often do not see the tremendous opportunity we have to help ourselves, another human being, their families, and the community in general.  The hard life we experience often causes us to concentrate on the perceived burden of the here and now obligations and tasks and not what the opportunity of the moment and what the future presents.  We often fail to realize the power we possess to be an agent of change.  A focus on obligations and tasks predisposes us to concentrate on problems.  A focus on opportunities gets us to concentrate on  solutions.

When we view the many societal and personal challenges we deal with each day – abuse, neglect, abandonment, drug abuse, domestic violence, crime, etc. – the negative handling of the obligations and tasks that surround life are then explained.  We see how people cause harm to themselves and the others they profess to love and cherish because they are burdened by the perceived negative obligations and tasks rather than being positively energized by the opportunities life truly presents.

As we seek to improve ourselves and encourage others to do the same, we need to recognize we are on a journey and not attempt to get to a personal best destination and cease growth.  In addition, we must be willing to fix our foundations and principles not just the layers.  Strong and sustained efforts to attain permanent and long lasting change should be our goal.

The perspective of concentrating solely on obligations and tasks is one that permeates many more people than we would care to acknowledge.  We all need a wakeup call that no matter what life presents – birth, death, poverty, wealth, health, or sickness ….. it is always an opportunity for excellence/betterment.  This is a definitely a call to arms for self and others.  Life often feels like we are called to be gladiators with tasks and obligations.  We are truly called upon to be peacemakers concentrating on opportunities and excellence.

Dr. Nathaniel J. Williams – Saturday, October 25, 2014 – www.drnatwilliams.com

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Living a Life of Increase

We all aspire to live a life wherein we experience challenges that we are able to overcome and these experiences do not hurt our growth and development.  Simply put, we expect things to happen and we deal with them and move on to the next circumstance.  Let’s proposition a different existence of one in which we aspire to live a life of “increase.”  With increase being defined as an upsurge, rise, growth, escalation, or upturn.  Where our life’s goal is to not just to survive – but to thrive and increase ourselves with each experience.  Imagine experiencing real increase that covers, and does not leave out not even, one of the domains of our life – health, personal development, finances, spirituality, family/friends, recreation, environment, an education.  When a person becomes intolerable of cyclical living – of experiencing spikes and lows of focus and motivation – and decide to embrace life with all of its imperfections with a decisive attitude to be upbuilding and positive about whatever life delivers.

Life Domain                            Ultimate Courage to:

Health/Fitness                       Fit, Maximize, and Healthy

Education                                Know, Seek, and Acquire

Financial                                  Have and Give

Spirituality                              Believe Unconditionally

Personal Development         Become, Thrive, Overcome, and Expand

Recreation                               Enjoy, Fun, Relax, and Challenge

Environment                           Live, Win, and Own

Family/Friends                       Belong and Love

A friend recently said “that people better watch out now because I am living a life of increase, not decrease.”  That proclamation about the prospects for the future can be so true if a person really wants to change.  However, a proclamation like that beckons for the real ______ (person) to please stand up and be recognized and counted in their lives and the lives of others.  Living a life of increase requires us to surround ourselves with people, places, and things that have the capacity and tendency to the help us redesign ourselves toward a future that has never been seen before.   We must recognize that an experience that already has touched ourselves once has did everything it was supposed to do and can do that time around.  The increase is going to come from trying something different so we yield something different and increase our potential and move toward our true destiny.

The beginning of this journey to “increase” ourselves will be lonely and isolative until we find others to be in fellowship with that are similar minded and destiny focused.  However, venture not to feel desperate and forsaken.  Journey forward with the understanding that “increase” requires and investment of time, energy, and conviction.  Increase is not given to the people wanting an immediate return on their time investment, lack drive, or principles.

Deliberate plans of action must be undertaken that usher increase into your life because nothing happens by osmosis. Honest assessments and courageous encounters with people, places and things that cannot go with you on this journey, must be completed.  The increase you desire will open you up to new relationships and place you in new environments that you never would have been exposed to before at your previous level of existence.

Clarity of thought, raised self-esteem, and elevated performance in the domains of life you target will enhance your life as well as those lives that you touch. The gift that you are becomes clear for yourself and other to see; your reason for living becomes energized and the level of appreciation that you have for all good things that surround you becomes more intense. You realize (through your personal journey) that what you see before you came with a price and for some that price was plenty and we need to stop living a life of decrease but instead a life of increase and forever be changed.

Finally, as we look at what has been the fuel of decrease.  As we seek to ask and answer the who, what, where, when, how, and the why of our decrease.  The answer is simple – we have been reluctant to do good and fearless to do badly in the eight domains of our lives.  We need to work with earnest to live a life of increase and transpose the aforementioned into a life concentrated on being fearless to do to good and reluctant to do badly.  It is when we have this proper order for our efforts that we can live a true life of increase that flows with rapidity and pervasiveness.

Dr. Nathaniel J. Williams – www.drnatwilliams.com

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I’VE BEEN ROBBED!!

Imagine checking your pocket or pocketbook to find your wallet missing, coming home to find your front door ajar, or looking at your car and noticing that the back window has been smashed.  We would all be appalled at such sights.  In all of these situations, we would go the police and seek their assistance in getting to the bottom of the crime.  We would expect the police to take pictures, possibly dust for fingerprints, increase patrols in the area, and generally exercise greater vigilance to prevent further robberies.  We should juxtapose our own lives with this robbery scene.  We have experienced way too many situations in which our voices, thoughts, and actions have been robbed from us in our quest for decency, success, and righteousness, and we have allowed these crimes to go unreported.  We have allowed ourselves to be robbed due to inaction and acceptance of the status quo and mediocrity.  We have known that circumstances are wrong and detrimental, and we have accepted our situation by maintaining silence and complicity.

There is currently a well-watched TV show built on the premise of “What would you do if …..”.  This show is popular because it is asking a deep question.  What would you do if you saw something wrong—that is, morally and/or ethically wrong?   Would you let a crime against someone or humanity stand by allowing your thoughts, actions, and words to be robbed of their use because the situation is a challenge and asks you to “stand up”?  We all hope that the answer for us is no, but we know that too often, the answer is yes.

Theft of positive lived experience must be allowed to stand no longer.  We must recognize that there is no police station to go to.  We are the authority, and our weapon is ACTION with COURAGE to right the wrongs we see.  This police station is where we live, work, and play everyday.  As you patrol, please be on the lookout for these unreported crimes of silence.

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VICARIOUS LIVING – “Will the real ______ please show up, participate, and make a difference?”

               Recently I was invited to deliver a motivational speech at a juvenile detention facility to approximately 80 male youth.  This experience changed my life.  The members of the audience motivated me much more than I could have ever hoped to motivate them.  Looking at a room full of “untapped potential” reopened my eyes to the challenges we face as individuals.  In many ways, those of us who are not incarcerated are more constrained than the young men who are held by a barbed-wire fence, alarms, and correctional officers.  We are imprisoned by lives led vicariously—by our tendency to watch life from the sidelines, from a distance, and to allow other people to tell our stories.  Other people can never tell our story with full accuracy.

                We live in a society full of opportunities for vicarious living.  To live vicariously is to participate in life and/or an event as though you are an invited and integral guest.  A vicarious existence is one lived secondhand, in a manner displaced from direct experience.  Just because we are able to witness a situation, we begin to believe that we are truly involved in it.  In this manner, we convince ourselves that the role we play, even as a voyeur and sideliner makes a real difference in the story and its outcome.  In this way, we can participate in a lived experience that enables us to live out some of the stories we don’t want seen or told.  Over the long term, this vicarious mode of being robs us of the opportunity to maximize our potential and live an enriched life.

                Here are some common forms of vicarious living:

 Television is the most time-consuming daily activity for most people.  This medium is full of opportunities for vicarious living.

 Radio allows us to take part in conversations we would never be privy to  otherwise.  It also makes it possible for us to listen to a plethora of artists we might never hear in a different forum.

 Newspapers/Gossip Columns offer us awareness of events that have the potential to affect our lives as well as events that have no potential impact on us.  Sometimes we can’t distinguish the difference.

 Pornography enables us to watch the most intimate acts from a distance.    Thus, so many lack the information and skills to connect with another in a mutual exchange of love and appreciation.

 Music used to be a form of art that one could only enjoy in person.  Over the last century, opportunities to hear music from a distance have dramatically increased.

 Playing the lottery allows us to imagine obtaining vast wealth, even though the likelihood of winning the lottery is lower than the odds of obtaining leprosy twice in a lifetime.  However, gaining financial literacy seems more of a chore than necessity.

 Texting makes it possible to communicate with someone in an intimate manner as though he or she were present.  In fact, we sometimes text people who are in the same room.

                As we come to the realization that parts of our daily existence is based on vicarious living, we need to ask ourselves, “Why does this happen?”  I believe this happens because at some point we internalized the idea that we cannot measure up and therefore must associate with other people, places, and things who have entered the situations we fear and we must do this behind some sort of veil to protect being directly exposed and potentially hurt/rejected.  The effect of this kind of experience is that we sit back and allow other entities to tell our story.  Living authentically in the moment requires us to be prepared to exercise maturity and tell our own true story.  Sometimes even when we finally get the strength to do this, we tend to boast and/or embellish the facts, thereby cheapening the experience for others and ourselves.  We must fight the urge to minimize our efforts to truly live in the full moment by showing up, being an active participant, and allowing the experience to foster growth and change in us and others.  We should walk away from a situation knowing we are better for having been a part of it.

                We must garner the strength to live in the moment, embracing the present and all of its possibilities.  We must believe that we are okay the way we are, even though we are a work in progress and improvements will always be in order.  We must recognize that these improvements will occur through the process of coming into direct contact with life’s experiences.  Continuing to exist vicariously will not suffice.  We must be able to touch and feel life through our five senses – taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing.  The world and its landscape are so large and rich that we reluctantly cannot be all the places that we would like to be at once.  That still does not give us permission to live a vicarious life.  It should spark an interest and desire to experience all we can first hand, upfront, and personal.  We should make every effort to capitalize on opportunities to communicate with our family and friends, engage in personal development, conduct our finances, pursue health and fitness, educate ourselves, and seek spiritual development.  We must be working on all of this in an effort to be present and available.  Otherwise, we cannot experience the aspects of life in the fullest manner.

                Vicarious living steals our voices, robs us of our imagination, and devastates our relationships.  Vicarious living creates an awkward silence where a true story should be told – not a lie or fabrication.  No one can tell your story better than you.  There is only one situation in which another person should tell your story—your obituary.  In this case, the story should be about how you lived in the fullness of the moment.  If your obituary were written today, what would it say?

                We live in a world where we have great ability to be anywhere that we want to be physically.  We could go most places, figuratively and literally, if we wanted to, but many of us choose not to.  It seems as though we are denying our potential.  There must be a personal and collective declaration to say “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.”  We must not live in the shadows of our full self any longer.  We must work toward reaching our destiny and find no more comfort in despair.  We must be eager to unearth the potential our life holds.  We must recognize that we must truly be in it to win it.

 Dr. Nathaniel J. Williams – January 12, 2011 – www.drnatwilliams.com

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Life’s Game of Tag

LIFE’S GAME OF TAG: BEING THAT SPECIAL “IT”

We all remember the times in our early lives when we played the game of tag. We can recall what it was like when someone touched us to make us “it,” and how we almost injured ourselves trying to touch another person so that he or she could be “it” and we could take a break from running to breathe a little easier. When we now think of the lengths that we went through not to be “it,” we have to wonder how we are still here today! As we have gotten older and our desire to play the game of tag has waned. We have all paid the price for our loss of enthusiasm and for not resting until we passed on the designation of “it” to someone else. Although the designation of being “it” did not truly matter in the larger scheme of things when we were children, it has become important as we matured into adolescents and adults. Sadly, our seeking to find others and remind them that they are “it” has slowed to a pace this is unrecognizable, or has completely stopped.

A major part of the game of tag is the dispersing of the group to different locations to avoid being caught, as winning the game requires that we disperse while keeping a watchful eye on others. As we age, we seem to forget this rule, and begin to believe that dispersing so that we can all win and not get caught is a bad thing. However, if we all dispersed with the intention of winning and getting back together, we would gain so much, as we would find the good “spots” that we would never have found had we stayed together. We need to recognize that we are “on our own, but not alone.”

The designation of being “it” is even more crucial today in our fight to counter some of society’s greatest tragedies affecting the human spirit. If we are to combat bullying, suicide, discrimination, and the like, we must be prepared to relaunch that old game of tag and let people know that they can become “it” once again. We must let them know that they matter and are valuable, as well as that life is so enriched by their presence and, more importantly, their participation. A major contribution to the tragedies of bullying, suicide, and discrimination is that so many of the victims and perpetrators suffer from poor self-esteem because too few people let them know that they are valued and appreciated.

The game of tag in later life needs to be played slightly differently, as we now know that once we receive the designation of “it,” it travels with us in our mind, body, and spirit, and we should never lose or give it away. Our goal now is to pass it on to someone else who may have never received it or has lost confidence in his or her designation. One factor that gets in the way of playing the game of tag later in life is the “doing me syndrome.” So many current television shows highlight tragedies of the human spirit that are ignored by the many and addressed by the few. We can watch people being humiliated, abused, and lying in the street while others watch and do nothing. We have to understand that the paramount rule in this new game of tag is that I can get “it” and so can you. That is, we can be “it” together; no one has to be left behind, as there is room for us all. We see every night on the news what happens to people who have been left behind or feel they have been left behind. It is becoming unbearable to watch them and keep living as “innocent bystanders” who have no responsibility to make a change.

What does this new game of tag look like in everyday behavior? It is just speaking to, making eye contact with, and recognizing others while remaining present and available. Having reverence for every person, regardless of his or her station in life, is critical in this new game of tag. When we run into “reluctant players,” we must be steadfast in our determination to change the rules of the existing game of life. We must focus on building up people, places, and things, using our energy only to do things that contribute and make a positive difference. When life challenges this new determination, we must be prepared to firmly answer back, “I no longer live like that. I know that I am special and am not alone in being special. I just need to be reminded that I am special and matter. I will seek to let others know that they are the same. I will not keep a tally. I will just start living differently now. You are IT!”

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Launch Your True Self

Launch Your True Self: Guide to Reframing Challenging Life Events

By Nathaniel J. Williams, Ed.D., MHS, MPA, MBA

Every person faces countless challenges in his life. There is no way to escape these challenges, and we cannot consciously control many of them. Though they can come in many forms–divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, health issues, a particularly embarrassing moment, challenge to our spiritual beliefs or a difficult childhood, for example- all challenging life events have commonalities: they are life-altering and can keep us trapped in the moment for years, consciously or not.

When I examined my own life, I realized that I had been standing at the foot of my mother’s casket for 35 years, grieving her loss in so many ways in my daily life. I realized that in order to let go of it, put it into perspective, and place it in its rightful place in my life, I had to ‘reframe’ it: turn this challenging life event into a positive opportunity for empowerment and enlightenment.

First step for any person is to identify the challenging life event and explore where it may have influenced our life—not easy to do since we are generally blind to this past event’s existence in our present life. For example, you may have experienced a challenging life event that would fall under the theme of ‘protection’ (in which case you did not feel protected) and today, have an aversion to banks, require numerous medical opinions, or are hypersensitive to criticism. You can see how that challenging life event shows up in ways not immediately recognized.

Recall a past event that had a profound effect on you at the time. Write down your thoughts and feelings as a result of that event, immediately following it or years after. Consider how it may have impacted other areas of your life such as spirituality, family and friends, and financial, as listed on the chart.    

Failure to appreciate the significance of these challenging life events prevents us from reaching our full potential and can exert a lasting impression on others and ourselves. Reframing the event allows us to truly understand it and use it to launch ourselves forward, rather than allowing it to hold us back. For example: a person who was a victim of childhood abuse might turn the hurt, pain, embarrassment and loss of power and control he suffered as a child into an opportunity to share what he learned and work towards prevention and empowerment of himself and others.

In the case of my mother’s death, I reframed my feelings of abandonment and isolation into the understanding that she had stayed with me as long as she could and didn’t leave before giving me the blueprint to be all I could be. Today, I view my life as a train ride upon which my mother is with me. I imagine that I am taking her to places that surprise her and places she envisioned her children would go. Write down the “old framed” view and associated feelings and thoughts (in my case, feelings of abandonment/isolation) and next to them, the “reframed” feelings and thoughts (my mother already gave me all that I need.)

The most important aspect of reframing is recognizing that whatever person, place, thing, words, metaphor, character, etc. we use to replace the challenging life event, we must avoid reframed concepts that point fingers, assign blame, refer to our own or others shortcomings, or elicit any other negative connotation. Positioned on a positive and empowering foundation, a truly reframed event is one upon which a person can build and from which we can launch our true selves.

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The 4C’s of Compassion

I feel compelled that we must learn something about ourselves to better prepare us to handle life’s challenges when they occur.

I believe our problem as a society is that we don’t have a way to:

“The 4Cs of Compassion – Care Consistently about the Capacity to Cope”

We allow for poverty, poor education, crime, abuse, coping, health, and environmental issues to go unaddressed until a crisis occurs. Then we temporarily overreact.  The amounts of money which go from one crisis to another are so misused. 

A consistent effort to care is the only solution.

So often our philanthropic efforts are part of the problem because they don’t recognize the full society or the full person. They don’t have to address all the needed issues, but they need to be in concert with others who address the other aspects of the full community and/or person.

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